SRSLY

I literally just got out of bed to do this blog. I am trying to cycle back to normal operating hours since I just got a six-week contract gig. It’s mentally challenging (aka something I haven’t faced in ten years) and I dig it. But anyway…

I received an email from my brother tonight soliciting donations for my niece’s walk-a-thon at her school. I get it. I did Jump Rope for Heart. I sold candy bars for my soccer team year after year. Fundraising makes things happen for schools and teams and kids.

But this school is in the heart of one of the richest areas in Washington State. In one of the richest neighborhoods. With very successful and well-to-do parents that can probably fund most of the developing world. One time my niece told me her friend lives in a five-story house. I don’t even have friends that live in five-story apartment buildings.

So I was reading through this e-mail, with the “sure, okay, yeah, maybe I can throw her a few bucks even though I’M UNEMPLOYED” thought in my head until I got to this:

“The money goes to things like more books in the school library that we can’t afford, or maybe things like after school classes and special teachers that can help foreign kids or even struggling kids. It will also go to after school movies and better school lunches, so instead of mystery meat it’s gourmet salmon and brussel sprouts- wait not brussel sprouts GROSS, but you get the idea!!!”

INSTEAD OF MYSTERY MEAT ITS GOURMET SALMON? GOURMET SALMON.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: THE ONLY STEP UP FROM MYSTERY MEAT IS GOURMET SALMON?

I am pretty sure you have just jumped over most of Old McDonald’s barn yard, and there are some pretty viable options available. Beef. Pork. Chicken. Organic Chicken. FREE RANGE ORGANIC CHICKEN. All cheaper than Gourmet Salmon.

I mean come on seriously! I don’t even know how to reply to this email. It’s insane! Feel free to leave possible responses in the comment section.

But maybe I will throw in a few dollars if they promise to put them towards teaching the kids how to use spell check. Brussels.

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “SRSLY

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s